Girl Heart Boy: No Such Thing as Forever (Book 1) Read online

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ he said quietly. ‘You did just as much.’

  Rich flung his arm round Jack’s shoulders. ‘You’re a hero, mate. You both are.’ I beamed and bit my lip; Jack just smiled and looked at the floor.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Cass, putting a box of Celebrations on the bedside table. ‘We got you these. I wanted to get you Heroes, but Donna vetoed.’

  ‘Yeah, totally,’ said Donna. ‘Way too obvious.’

  ‘Any chocolate’s fine with me,’ I said, tearing open the box and pouring them on to my bed. ‘Help yourselves.’

  ‘Um, they’re for Ashley too, of course,’ said Cass.

  I blushed. ‘Yeah, course. You don’t mind if we share them out, do you?’

  Ashley shrugged and nodded, but didn’t take one.

  Cass chose a mini Mars and perched on the end of Ash’s bed. ‘So how are you, hon, if that’s not a stupid question?’

  Ash pulled herself up a bit straighter and smoothed the sheets over her thighs. ‘I suppose I’m pretty good, considering the nearly dying stuff … I can’t seem to get enough sleep, but apart from that … Yeah, I feel all right.’

  Cass’s eyes darted to the others, and Donna and Rich kind of nodded encouragingly. ‘Are you OK to tell us what happened?’ she added gently. Ah, now I understood. They must have had a discussion about whether or not it was all right to ask. I didn’t blame them. After all, I couldn’t bring myself to ask and I was there.

  ‘Not much to tell, to be honest,’ said Ashley. ‘I got cramp. I’d never had it before, so I kind of freaked. It was like something was attacking me.’ She shook her head at the memory. ‘I thought I was … done for.’ She widened her eyes and waggled her fingers ironically, but her eyes did look scared. Poor her, she really had been through something terrifying. I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to actually believe that your time was up.

  ‘Thank God for you, babes,’ said Cass, reaching over and patting my leg.

  I shrugged. ‘Right place at the right time. I didn’t even think about it – I just went in.’ I told them the whole story. It felt good to voice it all. I swear I didn’t embellish it, but I saw Donna gave Rich a look, like I was loving it. I didn’t really care. She was probably just jealous. She loved being the centre of attention.

  I looked over at Ollie, who hadn’t said a word. ‘You all right, Ols?’

  He blinked and cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, fine. Just glad you’re all right.’ He attempted a watery smile. Aw, what a softy. Who’d have thought Ollie would get emotional?

  ‘What about you, Jack?’ I said. ‘How come you turned up in the nick of time? I’ve been going over and over it in my head and I just can’t work it out.’

  He hunched his shoulders, his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets. ‘I was looking for my scarf – I left it when we were playing volleyball. Then I recognized your bag and Ashley’s coat …’ He tailed off.

  ‘Oh, riiiight,’ I said. ‘God, I’d been thinking you were, like, psychic or something. But, shit, thank God you left your scarf … I might have got Ashley out of the water, but I’d have been useless at the mouth-to-mouth stuff.’ It was probably part of the life-saving badge all those years ago, but I couldn’t remember any of it.

  Jack shrugged. ‘We both did what we had to do.’ He seemed genuinely uncomfortable, like he’d rather we didn’t go on about it. Honestly, I could have talked about it all day. Maybe it was cos Jack was so into sport that it wasn’t all that to him – physical exertion was what he was all about, and he put on his life-saver guise every time he went to work at the swimming pool – but this might be the one amazing thing I do in my whole life. I was more than happy to milk it.

  As we paused in a moment of awkward silence, a nurse appeared to tell me and Ash that the consultant was on her way to see us. Cue friends’ departure.

  ‘We’ll come and see you tomorrow,’ said Cass. ‘Look after yourselves.’

  ‘Can’t really do anything else in this place,’ said Ashley. ‘But thanks. You too.’

  Another quick round of hugs, and they disappeared, leaving the ward feeling very quiet and empty. I wondered where they were going now. The hostel and the beach seemed to belong in some kind of parallel universe since I’d been in here.

  I started to say as much to Ashley, but she had her eyes closed again. It worried me to see her like this. Obviously she’d be in intensive care if the doctors thought there was a problem, but still. What if the water had done some kind of terrible damage to her lungs and no one had noticed? As I waited for the consultant I watched Ashley’s chest rise and fall, and tried not to think about what could have been – or what might be.

  12

  Hi Joe. On way home from

  Devon early. Have been in

  hospital – long story. All

  OK tho. Can’t wait 2 see u

  xxx

  Shit what happened? Jx

  Ash got into trouble in

  the sea n I got her out. I

  had mild hypothermia but

  fine now xxx

  No end to your talents

  babes ;) Glad you’re ok x

  Me too! C u thurs.

  Looking fwd to some tlc

  dot dot dot! Xxx : p

  Facebook status update

  Sarah Millar: is thinking winter swimming ain’t all that.

  Comments:

  Cass Henderson: LOL me too! V glad you’re OK, hero lady! Xx

  Hey Sarah. You home yet?

  Devon not same without

  u! Xxx

  Aw fanks Cass. In car with

  Ash n her mum. Ash

  asleep. Bless her think

  she’s still knackered x

  Bet she is. She was v

  quiet in hospital but

  guess that’s not surprising.

  She’s lucky 2 have u

  n Jack x

  Hmm not sure she thinks

  that! xx

  What do u mean? What’s

  she said? x

  Nothing! Hasn’t even said

  thanks. Don’t expect lots

  but something would be

  nice! x

  Weird. Don’t worry bout it

  hun. She’s prob in shock.

  Give her time xx

  I know. You’re right. So

  what u lot up to? xx

  Donna n Rich gone back

  to bed wiv hangover,

  Ollie, me n Jack in cafe

  eating cream tea! xx

  Oh NO jealous! Can’t

  believe i’m missing

  scones! You back day

  after tomorrow? x

  Yep. Will call u then. Look

  after yourself hun. Have

  fun with Joe!!! xxxx

  I so will! Can’t WAIT 2 see

  him. Enjoy rest of hol

  *sobs* xxx

  LOL xx

  Oi McSarey how r u

  feeling? How r plans for

  world domination coming

  on??

  Haha v funny Ols. Altho

  am considering pants-over-leggings

  superhero combo. V fetching no?

  No.

  Haha. *Slaps Ollie upside

  the head*

  *Cries like girl*

  Yeah well. Let that be

  lesson 2 u. Hope you’re

  able to enjoy Devon despite

  me-shaped hole in it.

  R u kidding?

  It’s a freakin riot. Even as we speak am

  eating scones SCONES I

  TELL U.

  All right no need to rub it

  in. Am going to sleep

  now but not at all cos

  you’re boring me. No

  way. *snores*

  Aw shit, my sides have

  split. Later dude x

  Later x

  Hey Jack, how r u? Do u

  still feel weird?? I really

  do. Seems unreal x

  Hi Sarah i know reall
y

  weird n unreal. Am

  trying not 2 think about

  it! It’s strange here

  without u n Ash. She

  OK? x

  Yeah she’s fine. Sleeping

  in car at mo. Look after

  yourself. C u at school x

  Yes c u then. Have fun at

  Joe’s x

  13

  Within twenty-four hours we were back in Brighton, and Devon was miles away in every sense. It felt like it had happened to other people.

  The journey back had been quiet. I spent the journey texting and thinking about Joe. Imagining what it’d be like to see him again. Just two more days. I couldn’t wait. Like, literally couldn’t wait. The following forty-eight hours were full of sinister potential. What if I was run over by a bus before I got to see him again? My whole life was focussed on the moment I got on the train to London.

  Back in Brighton we dropped Ashley and her mum at theirs, picked up Daniel from his friend’s, then went home, where the house was quiet and cold and Dan stared at me like I was an alien. Mum cooked cheese on toast and made me eat it on a tray in bed like an invalid. I felt fine, although tired. I finished my toast then fell asleep again.

  I woke up nine hours later to torrential rain and a too-much-sleep headache. I couldn’t stop thinking about the hospital. I felt almost nostalgic for it, with its routine and regular meals and me and Ash in our own little bubble. I tried not to think about the event that got us there, although ‘I saved someone’s life’ kept appearing in my mind like someone walking across the front of a stage with a placard. It made my stomach pitch in fear and disbelief and, if I’m honest, excitement and pride.

  My bedroom was closing in on me. The doctor at the hospital had told Mum and Dad that I needed to take it easy, which they saw as a free pass to keep me bedridden. Everything in my room was annoying. My purple duvet cover, the books on the shelves with the S-shaped book-ends, the photo collages of me and my friends … Childish and routine. Even the smell of my pillow was claustrophobically familiar. I missed the strangeness of the hospital. Missed feeling special. I stared at the ceiling, lethargy draped over me like a concrete blanket. My phone was on my chest, where I’d dropped it when there wasn’t a single thing left I could bear to watch on iPlayer. It wasn’t even as if I could have nice long conversations with Joe – maybe even pick up where we left off, phone-sex wise – since Joe was in one of his rubbish phases on the contact front. I supposed there was no need for him to get in touch: I was seeing him tomorrow.

  Tomorrow! Flicking to Favourites, I clicked on his name, and then instantly ended the call when my mum barged in. Well, not barged exactly. She’s not a barging kind of person. But, like, there’s no point knocking if you don’t wait for a response. She put a pile of clothes on my desk. ‘Here’s your Devon stuff, all washed.’

  Whoop-di-doo. ‘Thanks.’

  She stood for a moment, hand on hip, watching me. I stared back. She folded her arms. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Oh, you know.’ I sighed, smiling tightly. ‘Still completely fine and still going mental stuck in here.’

  Mum sat on the edge of my bed and stroked my hair. I tried not to flinch. ‘You’ve had a traumatic experience,’ she said. ‘Your body needs time to recover.’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ I’d heard it approximately two hundred and forty-eight times before.

  ‘Just a couple more days taking it easy, darling. You can watch the telly in our room if you want.’ She started opening drawers and putting my clothes away.

  ‘Thanks, but there’s only so much Cash in the Attic I can take …’ She carefully placed a symmetrically folded pile of knickers in my drawer. ‘Mum, don’t. I’ll do it …’ Although I wouldn’t have. Just watching her made me feel tired. ‘Anyway, I’m nearly eighteen years old,’ I complained, returning to the incarceration issue. ‘I think I can just about tell if I’m ill or not.’

  She’d moved on to tidying my desk now. It was hair-tearingly irritating. She paused in the middle of dusting my lamp with a spat-on tissue. ‘Obviously we can’t keep you here, Sarah, but you’re not an adult yet. Whether you like it or not, we probably still know what’s best for you –’ She put her hand up and talked over my spluttering indignation. ‘As far as your health is concerned, anyway.’

  I sagged back on my bed. I was too bloody obedient for my own good. Then I very speedily unsagged, sitting up so fast I got a head rush. ‘I can’t stay in bed for two more days! I’m going to London tomorrow.’

  Mum didn’t pause from her tidying frenzy. ‘Not this time, you’re not. The girls will understand.’

  I started to cry. I couldn’t help it. Mum looked at me, surprised, then came and sat on the edge of my bed. ‘Sweetheart, you’ve had a dreadful shock. You’re bound to be emotional.’ She put her hand on my forehead and I put out my arms so she could hug me. I wanted her to tell me it’d all be OK.

  ‘It’s not the shock,’ I hiccuped into her shoulder.

  ‘What is it then?’ asked Mum, gently.

  I paused, smelling her familiar Mum smell and imagining the concern on her face. It was no good, I couldn’t tell her about Joe. The thought of all the questions then, when they’d got used to the idea, the we’re so liberal enthusiasm and jovial teasing … I’d have cringed myself to death.

  ‘I just want to get back to normal … be with my friends. It’s been arranged for weeks.’ I made a huge effort to keep my voice calm – getting hysterical would not help my case – but the thought of not being able to see Joe! I was this far from whimpering with panic.

  Mum disengaged from our hug and put on her practical face. ‘There’s no need to get so het up. Just re-arrange for the weekend.’

  ‘I can’t,’ I growled. ‘Donna’s with her mum and Cass is seeing Adam.’

  ‘Well, I’m sorry, darling. They’ll have to go without you, just this once.’

  I took a breath and smoothed the material of my PJ bottoms. Keeping my voice low, I said, ‘Look, I’m fine. The hospital wouldn’t have let me come all the way back home if they didn’t think I was OK. We’re not planning on doing anything strenuous. We’re just going to do a bit of shopping, stay at Donna’s cousin’s place, then come home.’

  ‘You’re staying over!’ Mum said, her voice going squeaky.

  ‘Yes, I told you that,’ I said through gritted teeth.

  She walked to the door, gearing up for the last word. ‘I’m sorry, Sarah, but you’re not going. Trust us, this is the right thing to do. It’s either miss one occasion with your friends, or miss lots because you didn’t take the time to recover properly.’ And out she went, closing the door with a gentle click to show how calm and in control and right she was.

  I burst into tears again. I had to see Joe. Had to. I couldn’t believe this half term, with all its potential, was turning out to be so crap.

  After five minutes of messy sobbing, I blew my nose and lay in exhausted moodiness, considering my options. And then almost immediately thought, sod it, and phoned Joe. I was gearing up to leave a message when, incredibly, he answered.

  ‘Sarah.’ His voice saying my name was just about the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.

  ‘Joe. How’s it going?’ I realized I was involuntarily licking my phone, which was not only deeply weird but probably also deeply unhygienic. I stopped, if only because I didn’t want Joe wondering what the strange slurping noise was.

  ‘Yeah, good thanks, babes. We still on for Thursday?’ He lowered his voice. ‘I plan to keep you naked for forty-eight hours straight.’

  I closed my eyes with lust and disappointment. Possibly the least satisfying combo in the history of the world ever. ‘I’m so sorry, Joe, I can’t come … The doctor says I have to stay in bed until Friday.’ There was silence on the end of the line. I chewed my lip.

  ‘I’m on my way.’

  I swallowed. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I said I’ll come to you.’ I could hear the smile in his voice. ‘No probs,
babes.’

  Nought to sixty in ten seconds. I wanted to dance in a shaft of sunlight, my shiny hair bouncing fragrantly. ‘Oh yeah, wow, that’d be brilliant!’ I enthused, all my friends’ advice about playing it cool forgotten.

  ‘Great. I’ll text from the train … Just one thing – exactly how sick are you, Sarah Doesn’t-like-beer?’

  I smiled. ‘Don’t worry. A bit of exercise is probably just what I need … I’ll still be in bed, right?’